As Heard from Rabbi Avigdor Miller ZT”L
“And Bilam said to the Angel of Hashem; I have sinned, for I did not know that You stood against me in the way.” (22:34)
If Bilam did not know, that should be a reason to mitigate the sin. But it seems that the failure to know was the sin itself. This is actually what Bilam said: I should have understood that the reluctance of my steed to proceed was not due to intransigence, as the ass had reproached Bilam, “Was I ever wont to do so unto you?” (22:30)
The sin was that he attributed the behavior of the beast to the misbehavior of stubbornness instead of considering that perhaps Hashem was indicating His disapproval of Bilam’s intentions.
“When a man sees adversity come upon him, let him examine his deeds” (Berachot 5A) instead of blaming his steed or blaming the circumstances. Bilam declares here that when a man fails to utilize the message which Hashem sends in the form of hardship or even inconvenience, he thereby commits a sin. “I have sinned, for I did not know.”
But despite his understanding that he now gained, Bilam still failed to heed Hashem’s message. Now that he was aware that the messenger of Hashem stood in his way, he should have turned back; or he should have requested permission to turn back.
Quoted from “Journey Into Greatness” by Rabbi Avigdor Miller ZT”L
Shabbat Shalom
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